How to deal with self-doubt and build confidence

In a world where our lives are broadcast on social media and analysed by those we don't even know, it can be hard to feel confident and banish self-doubt.

Confidence and Self-Doubt. Two opposing aspects of life. Both are present in our personal and professional lives and both can be difficult to grow and overcome.

But building your confidence and overcoming self-doubt is important in life and something that we should all try to do, no matter how challenging and intimidating it may feel.

It is, after all, easier said than done.

However, I wanted to share some tips with you that I've used personally to help me increase my confidence, especially in my career, and how I've tackled those niggling thoughts that cause me to doubt myself.

It wasn't that long ago that I had a little bit of a wobble with my confidence. I was coming up to results week for my university and I had had a very busy past few weeks that left little to no time for me to take a breather.

I was juggling a lot and some things occurred that made me feel less about myself and doubt myself. Now, I'm no stranger to self-doubt; throughout my education, I've compared myself to others and thought, I could do better, but in the last few years, having gained a wealth of work experience, my confidence has increased.

But a few weeks ago, I became very emotional and critical of myself and my abilities concerning my writing and my work. I kept criticising myself and putting myself down, despite knowing that I was actually doing a good job.

Confidence is easy to knock, and self-doubt is easy to give in to, but I've tried hard to overcome my doubts and wavering confidence to build up my self-belief and feel good about what I do.

So, if you're feeling a little bit doubtful of yourself, no matter whether it's professionally, personally, or whatever, I hope some of these tips can help you see the magic in yourself.

Practise self-care

In a world where it can be so easy to get wrapped in the lives of others and spend hours scrolling mindlessly online, it is essential we prioritise ourselves.

Ensuring you're kind to yourself and taking moments to reflect can bring a source of comfort to you and allow you to develop emotional flexibility. If you've watched Inside Out 2, you know how many emotions we feel, and it's important to spend time with these emotions and look at why you're feeling them.

But it's equally important to do things that make you feel good to build confidence. If you love spending an evening by yourself watching a movie, do so. If you love reading a good book, do so. There is nothing bad or negative about practising self-care.

Recognise your strengths

Self-doubt can sometimes be such a strong emotion that it's easy to fall down a rabbit hole of what you think are weaknesses. When you doubt yourself over one thing, this can lead to you questioning whether you're good enough at several things; and trust me, I know because this was me a few weeks ago.

But you have to try and stop yourself from going down that rabbit hole. One way to do this is to recognise your strengths.

When you start to feel the self-doubt creeping in, or you find yourself questioning yourself, try to think of what your strengths are. Focus on some positive comments you've received recently. Remember a time when you achieved something you're proud of.

And try to think of these whenever you start questioning your ability and your worth.

Support yourself and your colleagues

When your confidence has taken a bit of a knock and your self-doubt is strong, it can be difficult to imagine others in a similar situation. But, the likelihood is that you're not alone in feeling that way.

Your friends, family, and colleagues have all probably felt doubtful of themselves at one point or another. So, if you are struggling with overcoming those doubts and rebuilding your confidence, try to create a support network for yourself.

Surround yourself with people you can talk to about your worries, but also those who can pick you up when you need it. And once you have that, you can reciprocate by doing the same.

Set achievable goals

One of the easiest ways to let that doubt take over is by having a huge list of things to do and an overwhelming sense of stress when it comes to tackling different projects.

However, to ensure you're feeling confident without doubting yourself, you can set achievable goals. By creating these smaller, more manageable tasks, you can tackle one thing at a time, and feel accomplished when you have completed it.

There is nothing worse than having a to-do list a mile long and not knowing when to start, but if you break down each task and prioritise the urgent ones, then you can work through what you need to do in a way that won't cause you to question yourself every step.

Alter your outlook

Within my family, I'm known for being quite positive. I rarely let negative emotions drive my day and I always try to look on the bright side. I do this in my professional life as well.

And it's something you should strive to do too because by altering your outlook to include more positive thoughts and a growth mindset, you can overcome those doubtful thoughts.

Now this is easier said than done, but even if it's subtle changes, it works. If you receive feedback, don't take it negatively; think about how it can help you develop and evolve. If you're unsure about something and need to ask someone, but are worried about how it makes you look, think of it as a way to learn more and broaden your knowledge.

Try to be a positive potato!

Use self-affirmations

There is science to back up the power of self-affirmations and whilst it may appear as a bit of an odd approach to building confidence, it can work.

So, the next time you're feeling unsure of your abilities or your worth, stand in front of a mirror and recite some positive self-affirmations. You can even write them on post-it notes and stick them around the mirror, so that every time you look in the mirror, you can see the positive thoughts about yourself.

They don't have to be complex, they can be as simple as you like. For example, I am confident. I am good at my job. I can always improve.

Assertive language

One thing I've noticed I say a lot is, Does that make sense? Why do I say it? Because I can feel myself starting to doubt myself and in turn I speak quickly.

But I shouldn't ask that type of question and I shouldn't use negative language. And neither should you.

Instead of asking if something you've said makes sense, you should use assertive language that doesn't convey any doubt and instead, makes others think you are feeling confident in that moment (even if you're not!).

A social media hiatus

Social media is an integral part of our day-to-day lives and quite frankly, it shouldn't be. There are benefits to social media, but there are also a lot of negatives, such as a decrease in confidence and an increase in self-doubt.

But if you take a social media hiatus, you can swap that around and have an increase in confidence and a decrease in self-doubt.

By having time away from social media, you'll spend more time in the present, making memories and living, rather than looking at what others are doing and comparing yourself. And it's so easy to start comparing yourself to what you see on Instagram or TikTok - I've done it several times before.

However, by taking a break, you can kind of cleanse your mind from social media and focus on yourself and the here and now.

Do what you know you can

Now this tip relates to 'Recognise your strengths' because it's all about focusing on what you know you're good at.

When you're starting to doubt yourself, try to pick something that you know you can do well at. Whether it's writing a blog post, cooking dinner, knitting, or something else, do it and you will start to build up your confidence again, because you know you're good at it.

Superman stance

What I mean by 'Superman Stance' is quite literally what it says. This tip is in Grey's Anatomy and also backed by science, so whenever you're not feeling as confident as you can be and that self-doubt is settling in, stand in the Superman stance.

Feet shoulder-width apart. Head held high. Hands on hips. Chest pumped out. And a look that says, I could be a superhero.

The next time you're feeling doubtful about yourself and have a low level of confidence, try some of these tips, or any others you can think of, and see if they help.

But always remember: There is no one like you in the world, so embrace it.

Until next time...